Here we are, watching our current president - whose inauguration many hailed as a departure from drooling imbecility - act like a drooling imbecile. Watching the way things have been since Bush left office has reminded me of the South Park episode where Officer Barbrady quits and the whole town goes insane. Riots, fires, etc.

For some reason can’t find the quote on the interwebs, but as they watch the city burn, the Mayor says something along the lines of “My God, Barbrady actually did keep this town safe.”

See what I’m getting at here?

But I don’t. Read into that what you will.

So for my birthday Mrs. Bacon Ninja took me and some friends out on the town. We had dinner at The Famous, a restaurant that has - and I’m not exaggerating - the best steak I’ve ever had. Then we visited an old haunt of mine down the street and when we left there, made our way to a … gentleman’s club.

It was a pretty good time, and got me thinking. Which is rare. But I came up with a couple post ideas, which is even rarer. This is the first:

Ten Songs That Would Totally Ruin an Evening If They Were Played At a … Gentleman’s Club

Now take into account the fact that this list is not exhaustive. Just sit back and imagine yourself surrounded by … naked bottoms … and then seeing the employees of the establishment trying to dance to the following tunes.

What was the deal with Needles in Back to the Future II and Back to the Future III? He’s nowhere to be seen in the first movie, then halfway through the second one, “NEEDLES!” And then you never see him again until the end of Back to the Future III where, sure enough, there’s Flea in all his glory. What the hell?

And what’s with trying to pawn off Elisabeth Shue as Jennifer Parker after the first movie? Me, I thought that the original Jennifer was just fine. But NOOOOOOO they had to include Ali-with-an-I from The Karate Kid as Jennifer.

I don’t like to tout my military service as a big deal because I didn’t really have to sacrifice much. I mean, the worst thing that happened was that I had to work on an Army base and live in Georgia for two years, and as far as sacrifices go that’s not a very taxing one. I wanted to write a short “thank you” to the people out there who actually did have to sacrifice by going to places halfway around the world, away from their families and loved ones, and risk their lives defending something greater than themselves.

Be advised, this is the only post I intend to write on yesterday’s events. So get your knowledge here and now, because you won’t be getting it later.

For the last eight years, one party has been pissing and moaning and whining and griping and raging and generally getting in the way of everything the party in power has tried to get done. They’ve reminded me, at times, of the annoying co-worker who can’t do anything but bitch about the idiots in charge for eight hours a day until he goes home. Well, now the annoying co-worker got promoted and he’s/she’s the idiot in charge now.

So the lamp in my living room TV decided that life wasn’t worth living anymore. Which is too bad, because I like that TV and I’m a little pissed that I have to wait a few days for the replacement lamp to arrive.

But it’s also somewhat amusing. Hence the title of this post. The reason I know the lamp died is because when I tried to turn on the TV, it didn’t turn on. But I held the power button down anyway, and it said “Lamp not working.” MY TV TALKED TO ME! I SWEAR! AND IT SOUNDED LIKE I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. FROM TEAM AMERICA!

Hence the amusing part.

I’m back! I know I haven’t posted in a few weeks and if anyone’s been sorely hurt by that, well, that’s too bad. The important thing, though, is that I have gloriously returned to the field of battle and just in time for the newest biggest game of the year.

Hopefully it goes better than the last biggest game of the year.

I think it probably will. For one thing, the Fightin’ Buckeyes are playing at home, which should help out a little, even with them doing that less than entirely straight Scarlet Fever thing.

It’s been a week or two since I posted. It’s gonna be a little while longer before I do anything of substance. Finishing the basement is draining all the creativity out of me.

I know this site has been college football central the last couple of weeks, but whatever. A man must write about that which he knows. Or something.

The weekend got off to a good start with Pete Carroll’s boys being humiliated at Oregon State. It continued when Florida got humiliated in their own house by Mississippi. The Mississippi that has the coach named Nutt.

Nutt. Ha ha ha. ROFL and so on.

Okay, I’ve regained my composure.

Wisconsin managed to lose a game to a really crappy team with a jerk of a coach even though they got five turnovers in the first half.